I pull the crimson shirt on and smile nervously. I don’t want to let the team down, not while
wearing the shirt I’d always dreamed of playing in. Stepping onto the pitch, my heart
quickens, the stadium lights, misty air and cheering crowd gives me a sense of
accomplishment.
quickens, the stadium lights, misty air and cheering crowd gives me a sense of
accomplishment.
Five minutes to go. We need the winning goal. Running into space I find myself in trust
of the ball, trusted to take the shot, trusted in winning the final. Frantically I shoot. The
goalie jumps. The ball spins, clipping the edge of the goalies hand then into the goal.
A smile plastered across my face and grave looks plastered across the oppositions.
of the ball, trusted to take the shot, trusted in winning the final. Frantically I shoot. The
goalie jumps. The ball spins, clipping the edge of the goalies hand then into the goal.
A smile plastered across my face and grave looks plastered across the oppositions.
I like the way that you have used repetition Sarah. It is a device that can add effect to your writing.
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing what you can achieve in 100 words.
Hi Anna,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this engaging piece of writing. You have a lovely style and I particularly liked your description and the repetition (as mentioned by Candy).
Your next step would be to use more punctuation. A colon perhaps after 'my heart quickens' and also an apostrophe for 'the goalie's hand'.
Good luck with future writing. You have quite a talent!
Best wishes
Debbie team100wc
P.S. you'll notice I had to delete my original comment! Spotted a spelling error!